When I wrote the original post, the event was so fresh in my mind. It felt like one long drawn out day. It didn’t seem like it was necessary to add a date, because time had for all intents and purposes, stopped. I look up one day and it turns out four and a half months has passed since the night I tested my ex for H.I.V. I tested him on Thursday, May 15 2014 at around 1 am. Everything that I do, I do it with this incident on my mind.
I passed a threshold recently. I started wondering if he is ok. I wonder if he is sick, if he is getting treatment and I wondered if the test might have been a false positive. I decided to look up life expectancy for people with H.I.V. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew I was on Wikipedia googling people whose name appears on the “List of H.I.V. Positive People List.” When I googled the names of the people listed for criminal transmission of H.I.V. I was sickened. What I read made me feel like I took a step backwards. Now I am right back where I started from. There are articles in Canadian newspaper called “Windsor Star” about Carl Leone and Trevis Smith that left me floored. While I was reading the articles, I couldn’t help but notice that it felt like those women could have been talking about my ex.
Link to Carl Leone
Link to Trevis Smith
I also saw bits of my ex and reflections of our relationship when I read about Nushawn Williams. This makes me believe that people willing to expose others to H.I.V. have some sort of pathology. There is more in common with these people besides the obvious being infected with H.I.V and being selfish.
I did not read about Nushawn Williams using excuses to get away with using a condom. Carl Leone and Trevis Smith, however, did and so did my ex. Another thing that they had in common was that they did it over and over and over again. The only thing that stopped these men was them being caught.