Sunday, September 28, 2014

If my worst fears are true, a lot of people are in danger

When I wrote the original post, the event was so fresh in my mind. It felt like one long drawn out day.  It didn’t seem like it was necessary to add a date, because time had for all intents and purposes, stopped.  I look up one day and it turns out four and a half months has passed since the night I tested my ex for H.I.V.  I tested him on Thursday, May 15 2014 at around 1 am.  Everything that I do, I do it with this incident on my mind.

 I passed a threshold recently. I started wondering if he is ok. I wonder if he is sick, if he is getting treatment and I wondered if the test might have been a false positive. I decided to look up life expectancy for people with H.I.V. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew I was on Wikipedia googling people whose name appears on the “List of H.I.V. Positive People List.”   When I googled the names of the people listed for criminal transmission of H.I.V. I was sickened. What I read made me feel like I took a step backwards. Now I am right back where I started from.   There are articles in Canadian newspaper called “Windsor Star” about Carl Leone and Trevis Smith that left me floored.  While I was reading the articles,  I couldn’t help but notice that it felt like those women could have been talking about my ex.

Link to Carl Leone

Link to Trevis Smith

I also saw bits of my ex and reflections of our relationship when I read about Nushawn Williams. This makes me believe that people willing to expose others to H.I.V. have some sort of pathology.  There is more in common with these people besides the obvious being infected with H.I.V and being selfish. 

I did not read about Nushawn Williams using excuses to get away with using a condom.  Carl Leone and Trevis Smith, however, did and so did my ex. Another thing that they had in common was that they did it over and over and over again.   The only thing that stopped these men was them being caught. 

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Test others for H.I.V

This is my ex - boyfriend.  He have a small tatoo of a blood drop in between his eyes. If you plan to have sex with him,  use protection and make sure that YOU give him (administer) a rapid H.I.V test. I say a rapid test because I don't believe that he is above faking negative results the next time around if he needs to.  It would be best if you were able to go to a location that does rapid, confidential testing (as opposed to anonymous), but my experience has taught me that will be next to immpossible to accomplish.  No matter how or where he gets tested, MAKE SURE YOU ARE THERE WHEN HE RECEIVES THE TEST.

Have you had sex with this man and have H.I.V? Maybe you had sex with him within the past 6 1/2 years and don't have H.I.V. Either way I would like to hear from you. 

I was in a relationship with him for a number of years. I would insist on him getting tested for H.I.V and he always refused saying my negative test results meant he didn't have H.I.V. I accepted that for a while. Then I finally got fed up with his stalling and bought a rapid test online. I was stunned when his test came back positive.

 I am appalled and disgusted that he refuses to go to the hospital for an official test. We were actually in front of the hospital about to get him tested.   Instead of walking in to take the test,  he turned around and walked away.   He is claiming everything under the sun from he is sure he doesn't have it to swearing off sex forever, to claiming it's none of my business. I am now left with the reality that he may have been purposely trying to infect me or at least didn't care if he did. I am also left with the hope that it was a false positive. 

I am not sure if he has H.I.V, but I have a very good reason to believe he might. Just as strong as the positive result for me believing he has H.I.V, are his actions in the past and his peculiar reactions to the results. I cannot in good conscience, simply walk away with my good fortune. 

Since i cannot get him to get tested (I have tried many tactics) and in the worst case scenario, treatment, I must at least try to warn his potential partners of the possibilities or I will never get a days peace. My conscience will eat me alive. If you plan to sleep with him, for your own sake use protection. If you feel you are likely to have unprotected sex with him, kindly ask him to provide you with test results or at least tell him to take a home H.I.V test. I think it might help if you took one also. Heck do that no matter what, it might save you heartbreak. 

Keep in mind I am not saying he definitely has H.I.V, I'm saying he tested positive and refuses to follow it up. I also want to hear from people in his past. If people know him, have had sex with him in the past 7 years and say they are negative, then I might be able to relax and attribute his positive results to the test being faulty and I won't feel the need to post things like this in the future. On the other hand, I might have reason to believe he is someone deliberately trying to spread the disease if people claim to be H.I.V positive and have had sex with him. Yeah, I'm OK if you tell me you slept with him while we were together, we are way past being hung up on that at this point. If you claim to have had sex with him, please tell me a few details about him that would make me believe you actually know him and that you are simply not trolling.